Gracious Uncertainty

For the Christian believer, there is a blessed peace in gracious uncertainty. Years ago, Oswald Chambers wrote:

It doth not yet appear what we shall be. — 1 John 3:2

Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We imagine that we have to reach some end, but that is not the nature of spiritual life. The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere. Common sense says – “Well, supposing I were in that condition . . .” We cannot suppose ourselves in any condition we have never been in.Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time. When we become advocates of a creed, something dies; we do not believe God, we only believe our belief about Him. Jesus said, “Except ye become as little children.” Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next. If we are only certain in our beliefs, we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.“Believe also in Me,” said Jesus, not – “Believe certain things about Me.” Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him (Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, April 29).

There is indeed a beauty in uncertainty, because though it is perhaps frightening at times in our humanness, and much different than we may have imagined, it’s incredibly comforting because it’s completely in His hands and we could be in no safer place.

“To be certain of God is to be uncertain in all our ways”…

Seasons of life may come where we find ourselves, as young women, looking forward into a future that is not just necessarily completely unknown, but completely different than what we may have imagined. Surrender before the Lord does not just mean an act of “letting go,” but it is a daily commitment of coming before the throne and crying “Not my will!” Ah, but not just “not my will”….but then “Thy will be done.”

I think, perhaps, sometimes it is easy for us as young women to “surrender our lives and dreams to the Lord” and feel like we are truly willing for whatever He has in store, and yet we then sort of plan how we think that will play out. Yes, God does give us dreams and desires but perhaps His way of fulfilling them is different than we may have thought.

Gracious uncertainty combined with contentment equals great, great peace. Because if we are content to wait upon the Lord and trust that His way is far better than even our “good plans,” suddenly life truly does become an adventure and we find ourselves in “breathless expectation.” Because we are not “uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next.” We learn to truly loose our lives, that we may gain Christ.

So many times I find myself uttering “God, I don’t know what to do…”

And yet there is a verse whose second half rings out when I utter the above…

It was when Jehoshaphat was afraid, when he “set his face to seek the Lord” (2 Chronicles 20:3). The last line of his prayer recorded in God’s word is a proclamation of faith and dependence in a God he trusted with the outcome of a coming conflict:

“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you” (2 Chronicles 20:12).

Unanswered questions and uncertainties are okay. “It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desires He creates” (Amy Carmichael).

I love that quote. But there is a key phrase within it that influences the entire meaning….

“…the desires He creates.”

Not desires we think He has, not emotions that are not taken captive, not dreams that have become idols.

Desires He creates. And if He creates them, than we can truly trust Him to fulfill them in His way and in His timing~

God gave a great victory to Jehoshaphat that day. Jehoshaphat was surrendered to God’s will and commands and trusted in His goodness…and just as the army went forth to a battle they ended up not even having to fight singing “Give thanks to the Lord, for his steadfast love endures forever,” may that be our cry also as we walk boldly forward into beautiful uncertainty.

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God” (Corrie Ten Boom).

“And when they began to sing and praise, the LORD set an ambush against the men of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah, so that they were routed…the LORD fought against the enemies of Israel. So the realm of Jehoshaphat was quiet, for his God gave him rest all around” (2 Chronicles 20:22, 29-30)

Loaves and Fishes

True Christian joy is the heart’s harmonious response to the Lord’s song of love (Tozer).

Sometimes, our Almighty God and Savior Jesus Christ multiplies loaves and fishes, like he did that day on the mountain, yet this time it is Him multiplying joy in the heart until it swells–

Oh, for a thousand tongues to sing, my Great Redeemer’s Praise

I’m in awe of Him, and His grace that is poured onto my life–has been–is. The months of April and May of 2012 were very, very hard for me last year. And yet here I find myself in a season a year later where He has multiplied joy in my soul and He is redeeming those months that the locust ate and letting my soul swell in praise.

He is worthy. His love, His sovereignty, His care for me–they all leave me speechless.

He writes the months, yes–those months which are composed of down to the earth days, and makes a story I wouldn’t have pictured and yet is so beautiful as each year comes and goes…

And being His daughter and learning to live in the light of the Gospel is so….peaceful. ‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

My heart sings. He is worthy. These verses are not just sweet praises of David long ago, but a real cry from the depths of my soul. Oh, that His children would magnify His name!

The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
 But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.

 Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
 Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
Bless the Lord, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul! (Psalm 103)

Be Still My Soul

By Faith

I believe.

“Whoever believes in the Son of God has the testimony in himself. Whoever does not believe God has made him a liar, because he has not believed in the testimony that God has borne concerning his Son” (1 John 5:10).

How often do we as Christians, call God a liar, by our own doubting.

I know for me personally, my faith used to consist of “Yes, Lord…I believe…but, could You just show me somehow? Someway?” verses a confident rest in His word and His character.

“In spite of tears and pain and death we believe that the God who made us all is infinitely wise and good. As Abraham staggered not at the promises of God through unbelief, but was strong in faith, giving the glory to God, and was fully persuaded that what He had promised He was able to perform, so do we base our hope in God alone and hope against hope till the day breaks. We rest in what God is. I believe that this alone is true faith. Any faith that must be supported by the evidence of the senses is not real faith” (Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy, 95).

Why do we so often ask to see, feel, touch, and taste what is so very real that we see, feel, touch, and taste every day in ways beyond words? We long for an emotional experience based on our own conditions when reality is really better than anything we could ever imagine.

In the past, I used to think I had to “feel” God’s presence and that was when He was truly with me, verses believing the truth that “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

God doesn’t give us a list of things to do, and then pat us on the back and say “Well, good luck and on with you, child!” as He waves while we walk on glancing back at Him apprehensively as we head into the unknown.

Rather, He gently promises that “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). He says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you” (Isaiah 43:2).

“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him” (Hebrews 11:6)

Impossible to please Him. Because we can’t even serve God if we don’t believe the Gospel, don’t believe He exists, don’t believe that He is holy, we are sinners in need of redemption, Christ died and was raised, and we. have. been. given. grace.

Real faith knows we can hold fast to the “confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:23).

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time” (1 Peter 1:3-5).

How are we being guarded by God’s power? Through faith. For it is the one who confesses with His mouth that Jesus is Lord and believes in His heart that God raised Him from the dead that shall be saved (Romans 10:9). By faith we claim His promises as true. Otherwise, we are calling God a liar.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible” (Hebrews 11:1-3).

In Hebrews 11, those mighty saints lived as they did by faith.

It was a quiet night and the lighting was dim and the slabs of wood around us let in the cold. And yet somehow those college students on metal folding chairs seemed to be grasping the truth of Hebrews 11—the faith of those who had gone before.

“By faith…through his faith…By faith…By faith…by faith….By faith…By faith…By faith…in faith…By faith…By faith…By faith…By faith…By faith…By faith…[Moses] considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward. By faith he left Egypt, not being afraid of the anger of the king, for he endured as seeing him who is invisible…” (Hebrews 11:4-28).

He endured by his faith as though seeing Him who is invisible. Faith in Jehovah gave Moses confidence to move forward as though He saw Jehovah.

“By faith…By faith…By faith…By faith….And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets—who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated—of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth” (Hebrews 11:28-38).

God asks nothing of us except that we believe in Him and for some reason, that seems to be the hardest thing for us to do.

Sisters, it’s just like when we feel a gust of wind and our hair dances or when you place your hand in front of your blow drier and it the gust leaves indents in your skin. The we cannot see it, the air is real. It’s very real.

How often do we rely on sight as a proof of something’s existence, and why? What makes us think that seeing is believing?

Because perhaps, believing is seeing.

I am reminded of the old hymn lyrics:

“‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just to take him at his word;

Just to rest upon his promise,

And to know, “Thus saith the Lord.”

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls”  (1 Peter 1:6-9).

Oh, how sweet the name of Jesus is in a believer’s ear! How blessed we are in all that we have through faith! “Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God” (Romans 5:2).

How precious is Christ. How precious are His promises. How great is our God.

Oh! May it be said that we were those who believed.

Of Coffee Shops, and an Excellent Recently Published Book

I don’t ever want to blog without purpose. I don’t want to write vain words and take up time that I should be spending in a different way.

However, I’ll call this a lunch break at a dear, little coffee shop in the town where we live. I’ve had my decaf, and been reading Theology for Today for the past hour or so. Thought I don’t want to think in sense of pages, I have 17 to go and then I’ll be done with that reading for the week.

Sometimes I long for the days when I was able to read books like Radical, Shadow of the Almighty, Know Why You Believe, A Chance to Die, and Crazy Love. And though I eye them lovingly and longingly now, the time to read them is limited. By time I finish with college reading my eyes are tired of reading…tired of processing information.

Lately I have been perusing Pilgrim’s Progress. What a joy that has been! I have a version that Vision Forum sells and it has a commentary along with it, of Bible verses, analogies to what Christian is struggling with and the real Christian walk etc. It has been a blessing.

I have been sitting here with headphones on and instrumental music playing; there were two pastors (if I understand correctly) holding a really interesting conversation to my left…and there is a guy across the table from me typing on technical things. This world is an interesting places and it’s interesting to see distinct faces I will most likely never ever see again. Sometimes the world is just a blur of people to our minds, but in reality it’s made up of individual faces, individual people, individual stories.

She sighs and sits down as she types on her phone. He coughs and stands up to go outside on his phone.

The computer light blinks, the violins rise in a crescendo and I wonder what each of my friends is doing this day. Wonder what weight it holds in eternity?

Between snow and daffodils, the weather smells of spring. Summer will come all-too-soon and the sun will beckon us outdoors.

~

I went home yesterday and read some of The Journals of Jim Elliot before church that night. I thought today would be hectic, but hours after waking up I find myself slowly gathering things together for tonight. Between the “Dark Forest” beginner piano song and catching up on College Group’s Life in the Father’s House I found my school work completed early enough. All in His timing.

Dad’s mowing the lawn outside. Tomorrow morning will find me up early and leaving the house to meet up with a dear Ellerslie sister a few hours away. He lavishes gifts, no?

Before I publish this and get ready to eat dinner and leave for the night, I wanted to give a shout out to an excellent, newly published book a friend of mine wrote that I finished reading recently. It’s been over a two year journey for Luis Garcia, but his book on purity has been published…soli Deo Gloria!

I’ll give you a little blip here on the blog and a link to where it can be purchased~You can peek inside more at the “search inside this book” link below the picture at amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Before-Altar-Luis-Garcia/dp/1449784070.

“Biblical purity is not merely a line we are called not to cross; it is a lifestyle we are called to live. It is more than physical restraint. True purity involves our minds, motives, and actions.

Culture says to follow your heart. Scripture says follow God. It is time we start living like Jesus’ followers in every area of our lives, sold out for His glory. Romance and love are no exception.

Books written on the topics of romance, singleness, and purity are looking back, but I am looking forward. I have never dated or kissed, and I’m eighteen. Most people my age have already dated, kissed, and lost their virginity; some have even experienced pregnancy. For young adults, divorce and cohabitation rates are beyond acceptable. Abortion numbers have amassed to over nine holocausts. And I am compelled to stand in the gap. If no one makes a stand, we can only expect even worse consequences to come.

It’s time to stop playing in the muck of this world and slapping a Christian label on it. We need to be resolute in surrendering our lives to the authorship of God. And that surrender starts now-before the altar.”

~

May you each find joy in His presence this day~

“You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).

Dressing With a Heart for His Glory: 4

It’s snowing outside today, and was white this morning. Yesterday Mrs. Douglass said it was one of the latest snows she had ever seen in Tennessee in all the years she’s lived here. Can April 2013 really already be on the horizon?

We’ve been a sick home lately–Emily is in her room with sniffles listening to an audio version of Anne of Green Gables, Cody’s in the basement, mom’s resting in her room. Me? Just listening to lectures by Dr. Jeff Myers.

For the outfits below, I’m finding I often enjoy tucking my shirts in when I wear skirts and adding a belt with an outside cardigan or coat. It’s easy to take summer shirts and make them wearable for winter time if you have solid cardigans to wear over the short sleeves.

This is also one of my first winters to buy dark brown and black leggings so I can wear shorter skirts without freezing. I’ve found that leggings go a long way with a cute pair of winter boots. Though I do greatly enjoy my cowgirl boots, I’m finding for some outfits they’re what my mom and I might call “clodhoppery” (i.e. too bulky…you can almost see this in my navy blue skirt outfit below) and flats are a better choice.

One other thing. I used to love shirts with patterns and that was about all I owned. However, I’m finding that solids in general go alot further, especially in Tennessee winters when layering is nice. Solids are also more flexible for patterned skirts. However, I think vice versa works too (patterned skirts with solid tops, as you can see below in the blue shirt, patterned skirt outfit).

And girls? I’d love to hear your ideas or thoughts in the comment section! Feel free to share for the sake of other readers (and myself) things you’ve found helpful in your own pursuit of dressing for the Lord modestly, on a budget~ I know it’s always helpful to hear other’s ideas or suggestions as they’re walking this similar journey…

Cardigan: JCPenny?

Shirt dress: Store in CO whose name I can’t remember. : P

Skirt: Catos

Belt: Catos

Boots: Cavenders

Hairbow? Was mine as a little girl.

Shirt: JCPenny?

Skirt: Target

Scarf: Gift

Camisole: DivineModestee

Boots: Cavenders

Leggings: Walmart

Hairpiece: Homemade

Coat: Target

Skirt: Catos

Sweater: Target

Jacket: ?

Scarf: Shawl from a dress outfit I had as a little girl.

Skirt: Catos

(The second picture is the face “Mom, you were supposed to stop snapping when we said we were done…why are you still taking pictures?”)

Cardigan: Thrifted

White t-shirt: Target?

Skirt: Ross

Scarf: Christopher and Banks

Boots: Figured it out yet?

Sorry for the weird exposure in the next two pictures.

Shirt: I think mom got it from Walmart or Target…

Skirt: Catos?

Belt: Belk?

Hat: Target or Walmart…years ago.

 

(Credit for the first couple photos goes to mom. However, the last four pictures were taken by Khloe…)

http://pinterest.com/4everhisservant/dressing-with-a-heart-for-his-glory/

Have I Loved Him As I Ought?

“There is no light in the planet but that which proceeds from 
the sun; and there is no true love to Jesus in the heart but 
that which comes from the Lord Jesus himself” (Spurgeon). So in essence, to love Him more, I must know Him more…be further filled, with wait…Him? To love Him more I must know more fully the Fountain of that love?

Have I loved Him as I ought?

Lately has been a completely new season for me in life, a completely new season of surrender. I’ve never felt the King beckoning before as He is right now, and yet how sweet to know that the King of Kings truly longs for each and every one of His children to truly desire Him alone.

For every believer, there must be a learning of what it means to have Christ as everything. I’m happy for my friends who are in relationships, however, I wouldn’t trade places with them, not now. For the first time, I am actually able to step back and say I’m not ready, say yes, I have things to learn before I can proceed with something like that. And I am ever grateful that I don’t have to worry about when I will be “ready”—for I am quite convinced I will never feel “ready”—because God will bring it about in His timing, and according to His will.

I said I’m glad for my friends who are in relationships, and yes, I am. However, I also see some of them foregoing a sweet single season in the rush for being able to enter the “dating/courting” world, throwing wisdom to the wind like ashes floating from the crackling wood of a fire. I am all for people marrying young, but I’m also all for people learning what it means to love Christ as their all during their singles years and wait patiently on His plan, His heart. We miss God’s best when we walk in our own timing; miss His best when we seek Him but turn a deaf ear to His word and loving instruction.

His call to “come away” is not a one-time thing. When He called us—the call that then justified, sanctified, and glorified us (Romans 8)—He asked us to deny ourselves daily (Luke 9:23).

Those who think they can have the Gospel at no cost are misguided. The Gospel came at a great cost for One, and comes at a great—but oh, sweet delight—cost for us. Death for one, death for us. Though His “once for all” (Hebrews) sacrifice broke the chains sin had on us and freed us from the wrath of God, He calls us to come and be like Him. To come and die.

“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised” (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).

Serving God does not mean we will have everything we want the way we want in the time we want. This includes in relationships. Serving God means a denial of self. Serving God means that you have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer you who is the one living, but Christ in you, the hope of glory (Galatians 2:20; Colossians 1:27). That means that ultimately, our hearts should be yearning for one thing. The glory of God. When, in these early years of college and new beginnings did John 3:30 sink into the mire we’re walking on till we’ve lost sight of His glory?  We cry no longer “He must increase” but rather, “He must increase” but can I have this whole relationship and life thing in my way in my time?

Have I loved Him as I ought?

If I was crazy over Him as over a bridegroom, would I not repeat His words over and over in my heart, study Him and His desires, hang on His arm, long to just be in His presence, yearn to be by His side? Would I not long to delight in Him as He delights in me and would I not desire to learn to sacrifice my own wants for His? Oh! Where does my heart’s allegiance lie? Before the Holy King, or before my own petty wants and yearnings for the world’s meager pleasures? Oh God, break from me every longing for something You do not desire for me, and let me turn my eyes upon You, giving no second glance to the dead spirit of flesh’s desires. Make us one (1 Corinthians 6:17) to where I abide in You and You dwell in me and Christ is increased so completely that I disappear.

Somehow, the “waiting” we thought we were doing in our junior high and high school years is taken to a whole new level of “waiting” now. Then, it wasn’t necessarily even a possibility to get married; now, however it is. Both my Grandma’s were married at my age. However, now is the season where we have the opportunity to learn the waiting Christ talks about. It’s foregoing the things that are handed to us that we could take, and giving them back to Him and saying “I want what You desire, Your best.” It’s learning to let go of the things we want—even if they’re not essentially bad—and allow Him to teach us surrender that He may give us the things He desires.

I want to love Christ as I ought. My marriage is merely going to be the switch of two individuals seeking to serve the Lord with all their hearts, to two individuals made one seeking to serve the Lord with all their hearts. Friends, Christ is the higher goal. If He is not, than we are missing the whole point of living—including the way in which we are walking through and viewing our relationships.

Spurgeon wrote:

“Love is an exotic– it is not a plant which will flourish 
naturally in human soil, it must be watered from above. 
Love to Jesus is a flower of a delicate nature, and if it received no nourishment but that which could be drawn 
from the rock of our hearts it would soon wither.

As love comes from heaven, so it must feed on heavenly 
bread. It cannot exist in the wilderness unless it be fed by 
manna from on high.

Love must feed on love. The very soul and life of our love to God is his love to us.”

He goes on to say:

“If Christ has our love he has our all; and Christ never has what 
he deserves from us, until he has our love. True love withholds 
nothing from Christ, when it is sincerely set upon him. If we
 actually love him, he will have our time, and he will have our 
service. He will have the use of all our resources, and gifts, and 
graces. Indeed, then he shall have our possessions, and our
 very lives, whenever he calls for them.”

What I’m discovering is that I will love Christ as I ought more and more as I pursue knowing God.

A lot of singles spend their time pursuing relationships, popularity, and successful careers. However, I want my time to be spent in pursuing Him, through washing others’ feet, through time in the prayer closet, through time immersed in His word. I’m realizing I have time now I won’t have someday when I’m a wife and mom. Am I using my singleness for His glory as I hope to use my years as a wife and mother for His glory? Am I pouring myself out for His renown now? Or am I dreaming for a someday and thus loosing years of life in the meantime?

I want to love Him as I ought. And I know I am fully, absolutely, completely incapable of this except by His grace. I only love because He first loved me (1 John 4:19).

Oh! May we love Him as we ought.

“Other desires might clamor strongly and fiercely nearer the surface of her nature, but she knew now that down in the core of her own being she was so shaped that nothing could fit, fill, or satisfy her heart but He Himself. ‘Nothing else really matters,’ she said to herself, ‘only to love Him and to do what He tells me. I don’t know quite why it should be so, but it is. All the time it is suffering to love and sorrow to love, but it is lovely to love Him in spite of this, and if I should cease to do so, I should cease to exist’” (Hurnard, Hinds Feet on High Places, 234).